Mayoral Proclamation - Fridguary - 03.01.2019

View the signed Mayoral Proclamation PDF Mayoral Proclamation - Fridguary - 03.01.2019

• WHEREAS, some communities may misplace their trust in the precarious prognostications of a glorified gopher, the City of Fargo shall continue to lend its trust to more reliable purveyors of precipitation: John Wheeler, Hutch Johnson, Rob Kupec and Tom Szymanski; and

• WHEREAS, Fargo Public Works has weighed its options in the Zamboni market to give the good people of Fargo a smoother slide to work; and

• WHEREAS, a high of ten degrees has become a good reason to break out your favorite cargo shorts & crocs; and

• WHEREAS, a trip down the Hornbacher’s frozen food aisle now feels more like a saunter in a sauna than sub-zero; and

• WHEREAS, people no longer say North Dakota is flat, thanks to the south Fargo snow mountains; and

• WHEREAS, the Fargo Fire Department is spending half its time responding to alarms and the other half chiseling dogs off of hydrants; and

• WHEREAS, the forecast has more doughnuts than a Sandy’s display case; and

• WHEREAS, Bell Bank signs no longer display digits and instead flash “Uff da” in all caps; and

• WHEREAS, the Fargo Police Department is considering training the K-9’s as sled dogs to help catch more criminals; and

• WHEREAS, it is so cold even NDSU Bison tailgaters would consider wearing a shirt; and

• WHEREAS, Gate City Bank will be leaving its trees decorated in blue not because it wants to; rather, the lights are frozen to the tree branches permanently; and

• WHEREAS, Fargo Public Schools may wish to consider the polar bear as its next school mascot; and

• WHEREAS, the weather has some longing for the tantalizing tickle of a mosquito bite; and

• WHEREAS, Fargo snowbird residents have been heard from Arizona offering the consolation of “at least it’s a dry cold;” and

• WHEREAS, the Badlands are the roughest landscape in the state no more as Fargo now lays claim to the Snowlands of Eastern North Dakota; and

• WHEREAS, if the election were held today, Jack Frost would likely win a Fargo City Commission seat in the new approval voting system and,

• WHEREAS, I am considering reusing the “Evacuation is Not an Option” slogan to assure our residents this too shall pass.

NOW, THEREFORE, BE IT RESOLVED, That I, Timothy J. Mahoney, Mayor of the City of Fargo, do hereby retroactively (and begrudgingly) proclaim February 2019 as

'Fridguary’

in the City of Fargo, North Dakota and call upon our residents to celebrate the fortitude, resilience and stamina shown to survive this bout with Mother Nature.

IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I have hereunto set my hand and caused the Seal of the City of Fargo, North Dakota to be affixed this 1st day of March, 2019.